Here she was again. Sitting in her bedroom making dua while waiting for her possible future husband to arrive. As much as she had told Hafsah that she was done with it all, Zahraa just couldn’t bring herself to give up.’ Maybe this time’, she thought to herself, ‘maybe this time everything will just click’.
It was approximately a year since she and Zaheer had any contact and Zahraa was glad to say that she had managed to get back into the groove of things. At first it had been hard. After coming to the realisation that she had wanted to marry Zaheer, she couldn’t bring herself to accept the possibility of marrying someone else. Each time she had a proposal, she automatically turned it down. After a short while Zahraa began to come around. Though deep down she was still sad over everything that had happened, she kept on telling herself that Allah knew what was best for her; and that there was inconceivable wisdom in all of Allah’s plans. Slowly she started accepting the idea of someone else. Slowly she became hopeful that someone better was out there and that Allah would soon make their paths meet.
In the past year Zahraa had gone through a series of proposals, one more hilarious than the next. She was glad that, sometimes, despite the awkwardness of the whole situation she managed to get some great humour. At times, however, Zahraa would feel hopeless and despondent fearing that there was nobody out there for her. It was at these times that her faith would most seriously be tested and she would constantly make dua for strength.
Today Zahraa was in a particularly good mood. The latest proposal was due to arrive any time soon and she had just spent the past hour reading Qur'aan. She was filled with such a sense of hopefulness and pleasure that it was impossible not to be glad.
The proposals itself had gotten much easier. Maybe it was that she was used to it, maybe it was that she knew that time was moving on and that this was now inevitable for her or maybe she had just gotten more mature; but Zahraa calmly dealt with the situation every time. No longer nervous, unsure and emotional; Zahraa now managed to approach each new proposal calm and rationally.
She heard a car approach and waited for the guests to come into the house. After her parents had greeted his family, Zahraa entered into the foyer and calmly greeted and welcomed the guests. Then they all made their way into the lounge.
Zahraa believed very much in first impressions, and Haarith made a good first impression. Not only was he polite and poised, but he also behaved with respect and consideration to all. And though it definitely wasn’t her main criteria, his good looks worked in his favour.
Haarith worked as an architect at a construction company and was the oldest of three brothers. He was accompanied by his mother, her two siblings (his aunty and uncle) and one of his brothers. His father, as Zahraa had been told had passed away when Haarith was only ten years old, plunging Haarith into sudden maturity.
After chatting for a while, Zahraa and Haarith moved to an adjoining room where they could get to know each other just a little better. Haarith asked her about her job and about her feelings towards life, marriage and children. Zahraa asked him about his own life and about some of his practises and beliefs. Now that she was more experienced she understood that it was better to get everything out in the open now. So she ensured that she was honest and open with him and tried to ask the most important questions so that she could easily understand him.
Zahraa felt comfortable with the family and was even slightly attracted to Haarith. For a change, she actually believed that more could come out of this meeting. After a while the family left and Zahraa and her parents sat in the lounge.
“So well, I know its too early to tell,” said Yusuf to his daughter. “But what do you think; do you think you like him?”
“Well”, Zahraa casually replied. “He’s not that bad, they all seem pretty nice to me. I don’t know though, you know how it goes. I’ll sit and make dua, read my Istikhaara, and ask Allah for help. Right now, im pretty sure that I’m willing to at least take it a step further and give it a try, but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see right?”
Yusuf and Farida smiled. “All went well” Farida said. “They do seem like really nice people Zahraa and I think you two might make a good match. But you’re absolutely right. Think about it carefully and then let us know.
“I will” Zahraa said before departing to her bedroom.
Before falling asleep that night Zahraa’s mind wandered to Zaheer and she wandered whether she was not making a big mistake by moving on. Then her reason set in and firmly and said to her that she could not wait around pining forever. And when her emotions said that she might still harbour feelings for him, her reason informed her that moving on was the only sure way to get rid of those old feelings. When her emotions retaliated by claiming that it wanted to hold onto those feelings for as long as possible, her reason reminded her that it would be better for her to move on and find someone else, before he did. Finally, fed up of the irritating thoughts going on, Zahraa grabbed her ipod filled with all her favourite Qur'aan recitations, stuffed a pillow over her head and let her favourite Qaris help her fall off to sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment