Chapter 14: Discussion and Deliberation

It was a day after Ahmed’s waleemah, and Zaheer was still at a loss for words. As soon as his encounter with Zahraa had ended, he had contemplated fixing it. When he got home he went straight to his computer with the hope of sending her email that might fix everything. But he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know where to begin. Instead he ended up sulking, spending hours just lying on his bed and staring at his ceiling.

Now a day later Zaheer, afraid that the ceiling pattern would be imprinted in his mind forever, decided that he needed to stop sulking. So he got up, left his room and roamed about the house. He didn’t really know what to do. He was in no mood to leave the house and still recovering from yesterday’s events. He went to sit in the lounge where his father was reading a book.

No sooner had his son sat down that Imraan closed his book and looked at him enquiringly. “What’s wrong?” Imraan asked.
“Nothing.” Replied Zaheer evasively.

Imraan was silent for a moment. He looked carefully at Zaheer and said: “Come on, tell me what your problem is. Your mother and I can both see that something is going on.”

Zaheer, whether too exhausted to pretend as if everything was alright, suddenly started speaking. Not one to share so much information with his parents, Zaheer surprised even himself.

He told his father about everything that happened with Zahraa over the past few years. He told her how much he cared for her. He explained how Zahraa had ended things and how out of touch they had become, and then further explained all that had happened yesterday.

Imraan listened intently to all that Zaheer said.

When Zaheer had finally finished Imraan just looked at him without saying anything.

“So what should I do now?” asked Zaheer.

Imraan remained silent. Then he slowly and methodically he began: “well son, I can see that all this is bothering you, but I really don’t see the problem here.”

“What do you mean?” asked Zaheer astonishingly. “weren’t you listening to me?”

“Oh I was listening.” Replied Imraan. “I just cannot see what the problem is. It all comes down to a simple question really; do you care enough about this girl to marry her, yes or no?

Zaheer hesitated for a short while, contemplating how best to illustrate his feelings and concerns. “Yes, I really care about her.” Zaheer answered “But that was never the problem. The problem was always that we were too young, and well, marriage was a problem for me.

Imraan shook his head slowly: “No no son” he said: “Marriage is never a problem in Islam, instead marriage is the solution to the problems. What are you so afraid of anyway?”

Zaheer thought about it for a while before answering: “How can I be a good husband?” he asked. “I mean look at me, I'm not ready. I mean a couple of weeks ago I thought I might lose my job. I cant even take care of myself, how can I take care of her?”

Imraan grinned a soft grin and gently shook his head again. “What is wrong with you youngsters today” he jokingly teased. “Sometimes I think you all go out looking for drama! Why are you all always complicating matters? It’s so simple, let me explain.”

Imraan sat forward, clearly concentrating now, ensured that he had his son’s full attention,and then began explaining.

“You see” he explained. “Provision comes from Allah. doesn’t Allah tell us that Allah is the provider? So we need to always remember that Allah has our provision sorted out. Furthermore we just need to ensure that we are obeying Allah, and that we are satisfied and grateful for the provision that Allah has granted for us.” Imraan paused for a moment before continuing. “Let me tell you a little story. When your mother and I just got married, we lived next to a sweet old lady. This lady had 2 sons. One of the sons were rich and the other one was poor. Each day the poor son would come and visit his mother. He would bring for her groceries and presents. He would take her shopping whenever she needed. Often she would tell us all about how good he was and how happy he made her feel. Now keep in mind that this was the poor son. He didn’t have that much to spare- but he always took care of his mother. As for the rich son, well to be quite honest, we only met him once. His mother hardly spoke about him and he didn’t seem to come see her very often.

Well over the course of time we would hear how the rich son got a divorce and various other problems in his life. He didn’t seem to be very happy and his life was filled with problems. As for the poorer one, well he was always happy and carefree. He had a loving wife and family and he seemed as if he had true contentment.

Their story was a lesson for me, a lesson that I’ll teach you today. Money and wealth does not give you contentment. Contentment is a gift from Allah. You get it when you do things that Allah loves, like helping your mother or caring for your neighbour. You cant buy contentment.”

Zaheer was beginning to get the point, but he let his father continue without any interruptions.

“You see” Imraan said. “If you get married because you want to abstain from sin, then Allah will make that path easy for you. And more than that, if you do the right thing, Allah will give you contentment. Life is not about money. Life is not about the numbers, this is not mathematics. Provision comes from Allah, so why must we sit and worry about it? Can you understand this?”

Zaheer nodded his head slowly. “So I guess” he replied “that what you’re trying to say is that I shouldn’t really stress about money stuff. But how can you say that, especially since providing for our families is our responsibility? Don’t you stress about it all.”

“Yes,” replied Imraan. “It may be our responsibility, but where does it come from? Only Allah! As for me, I don’t worry about it. Each day I make a special dua to Allah, each day I go out seeking only halaal rizq, each day I work hard at my job- to try and deserve this favour of Allah, and each day I thank Allah for all the bounties that He bestows upon this family.”

“So basically” Zaheer asked “you’re saying that I should have married her?”

“Uh uh” replied Imraan. “I'm saying no such thing. I'm giving you the facts of life here. Now that you understand these facts, you can make an analytical decision. You’ll have to consider, is this a good girl? Will she make a good mother, a good wife? Will she remain faithful and true to you? Is she Allah fearing? Will she provide you with a good home. These are all questions you must consider before contemplating marriage. Its not all about the romance and hormones. Marriage is an important decision. You have to approach it level headedly and considerately. Its not like the Hollywood movies. Their marriages never last anyway, do they? What I'm saying is this: when you reach a point where you're considering marriage, don’t wait around for the day when you’ll get a better job or higher salary- understand that Allah will put blessings in your money when you do the right thing. Furthermore when you’ve found someone special, make sure she’ll be good for your condition in this life and the next, make dua, ask Allah for guidance, consider it all carefully; then make your decision. That’s the best advice I can give.”

Zaheer remained silent, clearly lost in thought.

Imraan got up and began leaving, patting Zaheer encouragingly on his shoulder. “Don't worry son” he said positively. “It sounds harder than it is. Just put your trust in Allah, then all will be easy.”

“Thanks for this.” Zaheer said. Imraan nodded and walked out.

For a while Zaheer just sat there, completely still. He sat there in silence, contemplating the past, the present and the future.

After much deliberation Zaheer went into his room, switched on his computer and began writing a letter.